Are you Freezing?

Do you know your response to your threat and protect system? It helps us to understand how we may react and respond personally in a situation that is threatening, dangerous or uncomfortable for us, then we will know what to do.

Responses are activated at a time of trauma, distress and stress, known as the Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn responses and are biological and psychological in nature. We may utilise more than one response or travel through them all depending on how the threat presents itself and how we normally respond to that threat.

These responses are automatic which means we do not have a choice which response our brain will choose or when it will utilise our safety valve and protect us. A threat may be real or perceived, when the threat is a perceived one rather than an immediate danger this will lead us to respond with a threat reaction at inappropriate times when its not needed. For example, when we have argument with our spouse or a boss gets irritated with us, it may be when we hear certain words, smell certain smells or get triggered by something we see. Over time these responses activate like a domino effect and become our patterns to traumatic events, stress, distress, perceived or real, and may become adaptive, overused and outdated.

These patterns are build in our childhood years when we are developing and learning when our brains are not yet fully formed.

What is the freeze response?

Unlike its counterparts of fight or flight that fills us up with energy to either stand our ground and fight or the energy to run away from the danger, freeze response immobilizes us and we are unable to react at all for a time or until the danger has passed.

Freeze response is activated when the first two responses of fight and flight have failed and we perceive we are unable to defeat or out run the danger. This evokes feelings of being trapped, not able to escape from the situation or feeling helpless and powerless to do anything in the way to fight or run away.

When young children' brain perceives it can't defend itself it will utilise defense mechanisms and the freeze response is one such defense. It can show up as daydreaming, numbness, zoning out or disconnecting or detach (known as dissociation), from the danger or threat altogether, this process is psychologically and emotionally until the danger has completely passed.

What’s happening in the brain?

We take in cues through our senses externally from what we can see, hear, smell or internally via our thoughts, bodily sensations or memories for example. When the brain perceives a danger our pre-frontal cortex the front part of our brain responsible for our awareness, attention, perception and consciousness to name a few of its functions. Goes offline as if it has turned off no longer functioning sufficiently .

This affects our cogitation so we can't think clearly, we have a foggy brain, or we may feel disorientated, confused or totally zoned out for example. In the freeze response whilst the person stays alert, we are like a deer caught in headlights, startled, we are unable to move, act or think clearly.  Our heart rate drops, our blood pressure decreases, we may have shallow breathing and or muscles become tense. We may feel rooted to the spot, or we may feel faint.

We can't concentrate and it takes some time to return to our usual way of thinking to enable us to move away from the dangerous situation and know what to do next to support our self.

This trauma response like the other responses have a purpose, freeze is designed to give us time psychologically and emotionally to 'get our head' around what is happening in those moments. It is the brains attempt by standing still to avoid being detected so we can eventually escape.

For example, on a recent walk I was confronted by two bull dogs charging at full speed towards me. I froze because in the past I was bitten by a dog and my old patterns jumped to attention, I stood still immobilized, in those seconds unconsciously believing if I didn't move they wouldn't notice me, which was not rational because they'd already spotted me. As the dogs ran up to me, one sniffed one leg and ran off almost immediately, the second sniffed the other leg and I was terrified it was going to bite me. It didn't, eventually it also ran off,. I still stood still in the street for a few more minutes until I could see them disappear out of view, ;logically to get out of the way of the dog I may have been better going though a garden gate and shutting it to put distance between us, but since at the time I couldn't think straight I just stood there frozen, immobile.

Eventually I carried on my way but was left on high alert, didn't trust they wouldn't run back towards me again for the rest of my walk. I didn't feel safe again until I got home again.

The above example was the freeze response in action in those moment but it can also have a longer lasting effect upon us and show up in lots of subtle ways for example:

Shyness -  is a survival mechanism which works well, whilst it may seem a passive emotional state behind the shyness lays a mixture of emotional energy deflecting away from our ability to express the deeper emotional response to trauma. It may feel too dangerous to express other emotions if the environment you grew up in was not an emotional expression one or didn't allow certain emotions to be expressed. A sense of powerlessness can reinforce our response and keep its hold on the sympathetic nervous system.

Social anxiety -   fear of social situations which is more than shyness.  It does not go away and can affect everything we do in our day and how we feel about ourselves.  We may avoid engaging in social situations to avoid becoming more vulnerable and this can become a vicious circle of worry, stress and avoidance.  Constant worry can affect our behaviour from not wanting to speak on the phone to, connecting with others for fear of criticism or rebuttal.

Somatic symptoms or bodily sensations, pain or illness – We’ve all heard of the well-known saying ‘psychosomatic’ problems, this means illness within the body caused by the interaction between our mind and body.  Over time the body having held onto the suppressed or repressed emotions takes a toil upon our body.   We may suffer with autoimmune illness, migraines or chronic muscle tension that never goes away, fatigue,   we may feel exhausted, tired all the time or irritable, frustrated or even rage.  We may have outbreaks of psoriasis or eczema, all these things are trying to tell us something and  none of this is productive for our overall well-being.  

Panic – we may panic when we feel dread or overwhelmed.  Panic is a mirror image of the freeze response in the moment, if you remember in the freeze response we stay alert. Panic is the sense of freezing in the face of danger, but it is not immobile it acts, it feels the fear and acts to mobilize the body to run but we can’t seem to run because we are frozen at the same time.  Our heartbeat races, we feel faint, our breath becomes short, we tremble and shake, we have choking sensation, pins and needles and a dread we are about to die.  So why would we run if we are about to die!  Whilst panic attacks are frightening, I know firsthand, they are not dangerous … if you can think of them as part of the freeze response it makes sense.

Without a doubt living within and trying to cope with the domino effect of any of these out of control emotional patterns of defenses can be detrimental to many areas's of our living. For example, our overall health and well-being may suffer, our relationships may not be as healthy or loving as we'd like, our work life balance may be out of kilter as we fill our time with business. What we do at work, are we sharp, alert and 'on it'? Or has our motivation got up and gone? Are we that stressed we are unable to work at all? Just as important is the relationship we have with our self, we may be suffering low self-worth and self-esteem or lack confidence in what we do and how we see ourselves.

Counselling can support us to stop the domino effect and be a central and important part of our healing and starting to develop self-awareness, understanding, emotional regulation and offer you the tools to build the emotional intelligence needed to be the master of your emotions. This can include more resiliency, more motivation, more achieving your goals, healthier relationships and social skills. LESS stress more spontaneous experienced on a daily basis, which all lead to more happiness, contentment and peace.

If you are stuck in Flight-Flight-Freeze or Fawn. Want to understand yourself, your emotions and your responses or want to master your emotional patterns,

I offer a free 30 mins video call so you can meet me before our first session. 

Contact me at

pendulumofpeace8@gmail.com  or telephone, text, WhatsApp message on 07867938630 and lets connect and realise your possibilities and potential. 

Because together we can